Monday was tough. Real tough. I had actually cried so much Sunday night that when I woke up Monday I wasn't upset at all. I even made the entire drive to Cullman without one tear shed. However, the second we stepped foot in the daycare, I lost it. I couldn't even speak to Mary Hyatt's teacher. I was so embarrassed that I was crying so hard, but I couldn't stop. I finally somehow managed to get out "Here, just take her," and I turned and left. I sat out in my car for a long time and just cried. I then drove around for a little while hoping to gain my composure but it just wasn't happening. I finally decided that I was just going to have to go to work and hope that once I got inside it would stop. When I stepped in to our facility, I was greeted by lots of hugs and smiling faces welcoming me back which was really sweet...but that made me lose it again. haha I continued to cry for a while and finally calmed down a little before lunch time. Everyone was so sweet and comforting though, and luckily my boss didn't mind that I took it really easy that first day. I was pretty much worthless the whole day just watching the clock and waiting until I could finally go pick Mary Hyatt up. I actually ended up going to get her early and brought her back to work with me for a few hours.
Mary Hyatt's teacher said she had a great first day. So far I have really liked her daycare and they have helped make this transition easier for me, which I appreciate greatly. When we first walked in, they had a big sign at the front desk that said "Welcome Mary Hyatt Adams!" Then as we kept going, there was another one on the door of her room that said "Welcome Mary Hyatt! We are so glad you are here!" I loved that. They kept the signs up all week long. I meant to take a picture but I somehow managed to forget my camera every day this week. Her teacher is also so great to periodically send me text message pictures of Mary Hyatt throughout the day, which I love getting. They also give me a written report at the end of every day telling me how Mary Hyatt spent her day, times she ate, times she slept, diapers changed, etc. I'm so thankful that everyone there is as nice as they are. That makes it a tiiiny bit easier to leave her, though it still hurts every morning.
After Monday I was much better and was at least able to make it through the rest of the week without crying. I did go and pick her up early every day and brought her back to work with me to love on her for a little while before making the long drive home. Oh and speaking of the drive, Mary Hyatt has done absolutely perfect. I've been so surprised and so thankful. She has slept all the way there and all the way home every single day. I'm hoping she keeps that up!
We have pretty much got our routine down pat. I was worried how things would work in the mornings with having to get both myself and MH ready by a decent hour, but it has been working beautifully so far. She will usually wake up around 5:30 ish every morning and Ben feeds her and puts her back down to sleep. I get up and start getting ready around 6. Mary Hyatt will usually wake back up between 7 and 7:30 and I take her to get dressed. I then feed her again just a 2-3 ounce bottle while rocking her, and then we head out. It's been kind of funny because every single morning while I've been rocking Mary Hyatt, Ellie has jumped in my lap to rock with us...
I love that part of my day. I feel like thats my special time with Mary Hyatt.The evenings are crazy around here. Thats one thing that I hate about starting back to work. We don't usually get home until around 6 ish. Since we start Mary Hyatt's bedtime routine around 8, that only leaves 2 hours for us to really enjoy her...and unfortunately, she is typically a little fussy from 7-8. It's chaos because also during those two hours we have to attempt to cook and eat as well, along with getting everything ready for the next day like making my lunch, packing MH's bag etc. At 8:00 I start giving Mary Hyatt a bath and Ben washes all the bottles and prepares new ones for the next day. Then we all go to sleep between 9-9:30 and start all over again the next day.
In a way, it has been nice to start back to work and get into a routine. It will be especially nice when I get a paycheck again. However, I miss every single minute with my little girl. I feel guilty at times for dropping her off at daycare and jealous at other times because I think her teachers get her during all of her happy and fun times and we get her at the end of the day when she starts getting fussy . I feel sad because I feel like I don't get to see her as much as I would like every day, but that just makes the weekends that much sweeter. I also can't wait until I start getting Fridays off, which will hopefully be this week..that will be a huge blessing. My biggest fear is that since I don't have as much free time anymore, I will let all of lifes everyday stressers (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc) keep me from enjoying the time that I do have with my little girl. I've been very conscious of that this week and hope and pray that I never get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and will continue to keep my priorities aligned. Though my OCD Type A personality sometimes tells me differently, I know that in the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter whether the dishes are cleaned, beds are made or the floors are swept/vacumed.. What really matters is that MH grows up in a home where she feels loved and appreciated by both of her parents. So theres my excuse and apology... if you happen to stop by our house these days, don't be surprised if its a bit untidy. I've been too busy loving on my sweet girl.
So we made it. The first and hardest week is over, and I know it will just continue to get easier and easier. Thank you all for your sweet messages, phone calls and thoughts/prayers this week! We really appreciate it!
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